Saturday, May 30, 2009

Why are you still searching?

I was driving the other day and just thinking, thinking about how amazing my God is and how often I take Him for granted. My hope is that I am the only one who has momentary lapses during which I simply forget how simply wonderful God is. However, my sneaking suspicion is that I am not alone but that I am instead joined by many--many who fill pews on Sunday mornings, many who sing along to songs about His goodness while driving in their cars, many who desire to live lives that please Him. Instead of continually meditating on what Christ has done for me, I find myself searching for something more. I always want there to be more. I think this is reflective of the society in which I currently live. There always has to be something more, something better, something bigger. Right? Isn't this why we expect raises at work? Isn't this why something new always has to be an upgrade from what we had previously? I mean, really, would you buy a car that is in worse condition or older or has more miles than your current car? It just doesn't make sense...or does it?
The point is this. I have forced myself to wonder whether or not I apply the same principles of more, better, bigger to my God. Am I looking for Him to do something greater? Am I expecting something more of Him?
Tenth Avenue North has a song titled "By Your Side," and one line in the song poses a challenging question. In it God solicits, "Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough?" Of course God is enough. What kind of question is this anyway?
Nevertheless, I was forced to question myself. Am I living as if God is enough? What is this searching about? For what am I searching? When did this search begin, and why did it not end when I discovered the greatest Love ever?
I have found God, yet I still search to no avail. I will liken this searching to something that happened to me at work the other day. After arriving at work in the morning, I, with my coworker, proceeded to sign out all of the keys we needed for the day. I needed one key specifically to unlock my work space for the day, and I distinctly remembered taking it out of the locked cabinet and even saw it on the table after it was removed. However, a mere 30 seconds later I was unable to locate my key. I looked among the other keys. Nothing. I looked on the floor. Nothing. I looked behind the table. Nothing. I even had my coworker help me reopen the cabinet to look again. Nothing. And then, my coworker simply stated, "Uh, Heather, the key is in your hand..." Yes, it is true. I spent a good couple minutes searching for something that I had in my possession the entire time. In my rush to move on with the day, I had somehow forgotten that I picked the key up.
I find myself doing the same thing with God. I distinctly remember Him. I remember that I invited Him into my life, but somewhere between the invitation and the execution of the day's activities, I simply forget. I forget where He is. I look in all the places I can possibly think but am at a loss until the moment when someone says, "uh, Heather, the Key is in your hand..." Christ is the key. He is the key to everything in my life. He is the key that unlocks my past, present, and future. So, why do I search for something more as if He is not enough? He is so much more than enough!
Yes, I know some may argue that there is always more of God to search out. I suppose one could look at it this way, but I see it from a much different perspective. When you search for something and find it, your search is then complete. You are no longer searching for that person/thing. Instead, you are enjoying it, using it, and benefiting from it. This is the way that I see it with God. Once you have found Him, the search is complete. Now you take the next step during which you are enjoying Him. It is at this stage that you learn more about Him, discover what His heart's desires are, understand how deep His love for you is. It is at this point that searching morphs into communing. This is the stage that I want to be in, even though at times I feel as though I am still searching high and low for the Key that is already in my hand...

"Yes, furthermore, I count everything as loss compared to the possession of the priceless privilege (the overwhelming preciousness, the surpassing worth, and supreme advantage) of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord and of progressively becoming more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him [of perceiving and recognizing and understanding Him more fully and clearly]. For His sake I have lost everything and consider it all to be mere rubbish (refuse, dregs), in order that I may win (gain) Christ (the Anointed One)." ~ Philippians 3:8 (Amplified)