How many flights does it take for your smile to disappear?

It is like asking how many licks to the center of a tootsie pop! My long-awaited departure date was Saturday, October 31st. I departed from Chicago O'Hare at about 6:10pm (Indiana time). My super duper wonderful friend Laura took me to the airport (and gave me some white chocolate chip macadamia nut cookies for the journey!).

This is me at the airport in Chicago getting excited about my flight!!!!
This was my gate for the first leg of the journey, heading to L.A. At this point I am still feeling pretty good, even though I did not sleep well the night before. I had been going over my packing list about a million times in my head to make sure I didn't forget anything important, which probably was not as important as I thought, but more on that later.
I think I look a bit more tired here. This is me in L.A. My flight from Chicago was pretty uneventful. I had a window seat, so I could watch us fly into the sunset (literally) for most of the flight. And, an added bonus was that there was no one in either of the 2 seats next to me. Yes, folks, that's right, I had a row of seats to myself! Phenomenal! However, I was expecting to get dinner on this flight, but that did not happen, so I was pretty darn hungry by this point. The cookies Laura gave me didn't make it much past here. I forced myself to stay awake, so I would be able to crash on the next flight.

After about 2 hours in L.A., I boarded the plane heading for Auckland, New Zealand. And, 13 hours later, here I am!
I'm still smiling, but I think this is the smile that says, "Praise the Lord I can stretch out and not sit on an airplane for a few hours!!!!"
I only had to wait about 2 more hours for my final plane to depart to Brisbane. In the meantime, I sat next to a huge window and looked at this view.
I am pretty sure that New Zealand is quite beautiful, and I would have loved to have been able to see more than just the view from the airport terminal.

My plane left Auckland right on schedule, and I arrived in Brisbane a few minutes earlier than expected. I then blasted through customs without even a hiccup, grabbed both my suitcases from the baggage claim, and then headed on out to meet a woman named Peta who was supposed to be waiting with a sign that had my name on it.

Unfortunately, there was most definitely not anyone with a sign that had my name on it when I exited into the waiting area. I had a slight moment of panic, but I didn't let myself get worked up since I was a little earlier than anticipated. I doubt it was even 10 minutes that I waited before I found Peta. She was splendid! We loaded up my baggage and took off for the city. We grabbed coffee and went on a drive/walk around Brisbane, headed to the church where I am doing my training, grabbed lunch at a cafe (which I can't tell you the name of because Peta swore me to secrecy since it is her favorite place to get away!), dropped my stuff off where I am staying, and went back to her place to watch a movie. It was a crazy long day, but it was lovely!
These are some trees growing in downtown Brisbane. The roots grow up, not something you see in the States!
And, I really just took this for my mom. Neither I nor Peta knew what kind of flower this was, but it was gorgeous. It is in the middle of a huge garden/park in the middle of Brisbane where anyone can go walking any time. 

So, there you have my journey to Brisbane! I will be sure to update again in the next couple days to let you know about what I am up to and how training is going, but I will tell you that I am super pumped about what God is going to do!!!

"And He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

the journey...

In less than a week, I will be setting out on an incredible journey, certainly the most daring adventure of my life thus far (though I am sure there will be even more daring adventures in the future!). On October 31st, I will be boarding an airplane with a couple suitcases thrown into the baggage compartment, a backpack on my shoulders, and a heart that is burning to change the world with the love of Christ. I will first be heading to Brisbane, Australia, to engage in some training where I will learn (as best one can) about how to minister to and work with victims of child trafficking. After three and a half weeks, I will travel to Phnom Penh, Cambodia. I am pretty sure that my heart has preceded me in arriving there. Over the past few years, I have done a lot of research, read a lot of books, seen a lot of pictures, and cried a lot of tears for the nation of Cambodia and her beautiful people. When I began learning of the widespread sale of young girls into forced prostitution in Southeast Asia, it felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest. I simply could not believe the injustice these young girls faced. Matthew 9:36 says, "But when He (Jesus) saw the multitudes, He was moved with compassion for them, because they were weary and scattered, like sheep having no shepherd." This is exactly how I felt about these beautiful young girls whose innocence was being stolen. I am moved with compassion for them. God has steadily increased my heart to make a difference in this area of the world and to do whatever I can, to make a difference any way that I can. So, when the opportunity arose for me to be able to volunteer with SHE Rescue Home in Phnom Penh, I jumped at the chance! I had been saving my pennies for just such an opportunity as this one. So, late last spring I embarked on a quest to make this volunteer experience a reality. Along the way God has sent so many confirmations to me to let me know that this is exactly the road He wants me to be traveling at this time. The complete peace I have felt through the entire process has been simply amazing and can be explained through nothing but the absolute sovereignty and grace of God. Proverbs 16:9 says, "A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." It truly is my heart to reach out to the world, but the Lord has certainly directed my steps as I sought His direction and earnestly prayed for His provision. He has provided so far above and beyond what I could have imagined and in ways that I had never even considered (such as free shampoo and conditioner from my hairdresser and an extra bonus at work to name just a few!). It has been such a blessing just to be able to step back and see how God is moving and working in my own heart and the hearts of others!

Though I know I am completely unqualified, I am excited to be able to work for the Lord in this way. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 says, "And He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is mad perfect in weakness.' Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong." I am counting on Christ to do great things in spite of me. I am well aware that I am going to be made uncomfortable and will feel out of place in an unfamiliar land, but I know that in my greatest weakness God is most able to use me. I have to be completely dependent upon Him. I have no choice, and even if I did, there is no better choice but to completely surrender everything to Him who holds the world in the palm of His hands, who knows the beginning from the end.

I am not entirely sure what my duties at SHE will entail. I have a rough idea of what I will be doing, but everything is subject to change based on what needs to be done. Blessed are the flexible! But, to give you an idea, I will likely be teaching some English to the girls and Cambodian staff, planning crafts and other activities for the girls, doing basic household chores, helping to de-louse the girls regularly, and helping to supervise the daily activities in the home. There are currently 18 girls in the home, ranging in age from 3 to 16. I am so excited to meet them, and my prayer is that I will be able to bond with them quickly!

As of now, I am simply asking for your prayers as I prepare for the journey ahead of me. I am planning to update this blog as often as I am able and will hopefully be including pictures periodically. I am inviting you to go on this adventure with me because I know that together we truly can bring real and lasting change to the world. Will you come with me?

You're my favorite...

Over the past several months, I have had quite a bit of time to just think about a lot of things. I tend to be a "thinker" anyway, but spending nearly an hour in the car each day going to and from work affords me a great opportunity to simply let my mind wander. My mind can wander while I am driving so long as my eyes don't, right? In addition to my predisposition to ponder, I majored in communication in college, which more or less means that I have become really good at observing and listening and analyzing both people's words and actions. 

So, what's my point in stating this? My point is this--I have been pained to see the judgment of people both in others and in myself. I will admit it. As much as I hate it, I make assumptions about people based upon their appearances. In Romans 7:19 Paul says, "For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice." This is exactly how I feel. And, I know God is working in me because I am learning more and more to look at others as He does and to have compassion and love for them regardless of who they are, what they look like, or what they are doing. It has really bothered me, though, how much I see Christians make judgments of others that are not theirs to make. I have taken to telling myself that it is God's place to judge, not mine. With that in mind, I know that it is my responsibility to think the best of others in every situation regardless of past (or present) behavior. A couple of months ago, I was reading through the book of James, which I have read numerous times before. However, during this particular reading I was stopped in my tracks by a passage I know I had read before. It was highlighted. It was underlined. Yet, I was almost sure I had never really read it before.

"My brethren, do not hold the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory, with partiality. For if there should come into your assembly a man with gold rings, in fine apparel, and there should also come in a poor man in filthy clothes, and you pay attention to the one wearing the fine clothes and say to him, 'You sit here in a good place,' and say to the poor man, 'You stand there,' or, 'Sit here at my footstool,' have you not shown partiality among yourselves, and become judges with evil thoughts? Listen, my beloved brethren: Has God not chosen the poor of this world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom which He promised to those who love Him? But you have dishonored the poor man. Do not the rich oppress you and drag you into the courts? Do they not blaspheme that noble name by which you are called? If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself,' you do well; but if you show partiality, you commit sin, and are convicted by the law as transgressors...For judgment is without mercy to the one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment." ~ James 2:1-9, 13

In reading this Scripture, I was stopped in my tracks when I thought back to all the times that I preferred those who looked as if they deserved it or potentially had something to offer me. Who am I to shame God's creation by loving one more than another? That may sound a bit extreme, and maybe it is, but this is the revelation that God has been giving me regarding those that He loves. I don't believe that God plays favorites because that implies that there is a differing level of value. If I say that my favorite ice cream is vanilla, that means that I like it more than every other kind of ice cream. I simply do not think God operates that way. I have heard other people say that everyone is God's favorite, which I think is simply a waste of words. His love for us is so far beyond anything that we can comprehend, and any word that we use is insufficient in describing it. So, I am working to claim God as my favorite. Above all else. Above all that I can understand. I want to see people as He sees them, and sometimes I think I can see the crack of light under the door, shedding some light in the darkness, revealing to me a new truth...

Live!

I have been thinking a lot lately about what it means to truly live, to be alive in Christ, to live this life I have been given to the fullest potential. I have been really disheartened to look around me and see how few people are really living and enjoying their lives. And sadly, I can say that I find myself in this category of lackluster living more often than I would like to admit. I find myself getting so caught up in the day-to-day life that unbeknownst to me, my dreams and passions lose their vitality. Over the past couple weeks, I have definitely recognized my recent loss of ferocity with regard to the injustices of the world and the ultimate power and love of God to bring justice and righteousness to a broken world. God is the element that brings life and sets the world right. I don’t understand how He does it, but I know that it is true. I know that He can change the hardest of hearts and bring life to the grimmest of situations. There is a passage in Ezekiel that keeps drawing me in. Ezekiel 16:4-14 says, “As for your nativity, on the day you were born your navel cord was not cut, nor were you washed in water to cleanse you; you were not rubbed with salt nor wrapped in swaddling cloths. No eye pitied you, to do any of these things for you, to have compassion on you; but you were thrown out into the open field, when you yourself were loathed on the day you were born, And when I passed by you and saw you struggling in your own blood, I said to you in your blood, ‘Live!’ Yes, I said to you in your blood, ‘Live!’ I made you thrive like a plant in the field; and you grew, matured, and became very beautiful. Your breasts were formed, your hair grew, but you were naked and bare. When I passed by you again and looked upon you, indeed your time was the time of love; so I spread My wing over you and covered your nakedness. Yes, I swore an oath to you and entered into a covenant with you, and you became Mine, says the Lord God. Then I washed you in water; yes, I thoroughly washed off your blood, and I anointed you with oil. I clothed you in embroidered cloth and gave you sandals of badger skin; I clothed you with fine linen and covered you with silk. I adorned you with ornaments, put bracelets on your wrists, and a chain on your neck. And I put a jewel in your nose, earrings in your ears, and a beautiful crown on your head. Thus you were adorned with gold and silver, and your clothing was of fine linen, silk and embroidered cloth. You ate pastry of fine flour, honey, and oil. You were exceedingly beautiful, and succeeded to royalty. Your fame went out among the nations because of your beauty, for it was perfect through My splendor which I had bestowed on you, says the Lord God.”

This passage is talking about God’s great love for Jerusalem, but I think it definitely parallels the love He has for each of His children. Isn’t this how God finds each of us? Struggling to simply survive and keep our heads above water. We are screaming, whether audibly or deep in the depths of our inner self, hoping for someone to notice and offer us a helping hand, a way out of the pain of this world. I love that God wills the infant to Live! in this passage. He sees us in our mess, and before He does anything else, out of desperation He seems to say, “Hold on! Don’t let go! I’m here now. I’m here to help. Daddy’s here. Live! Just hold on!” In reading this passage, I always have the image of a man hearing the distant cries of an abandoned infant, and I see him frantically running toward the cries, eyes darting in all directions. I see him discovering this helpless, trembling child who is slowly dying with the vultures circling overhead merely waiting. I see him enveloping the child in his arms in hopes that he can transfer some of his life, his vitality to this weak child. Then, I see him adopting this child as his own, offering up all that he has in order for this child to have a life of abundance. Isn’t this exactly what God has done for each of us? He finds us in our worst state, struggling to survive on our own. Then, He takes us in His arms, saving us from the imminent death that is just seconds from digging its claws into us. Yet, even after this amazing display of saving grace, our response is often less than eternal gratitude. We start out with great intentions, with a wonderful desire to live wholeheartedly for God and bringing glory to His kingdom. We want to tell the whole world about Jesus, to see the whole world saved. But then mundane life takes over. We find ourselves living day-to-day, waiting for five o’clock on Friday afternoon to roll around. At first, we hear the cries of the helpless and hopeless with great clarity and want to run and rescue them the way God came and rescued us. However, over the course of time, those cries often get masked by the wind rushing past us, the rain pouring down on us, the grumbling of our own desires, and the well-kept gardens on the other side of the fence—away from the cries that suddenly make us uncomfortable. While we still remember the major points of how God came to save us, we sometimes omit the details of our prior filthiness—some things are just better left in the past and forgotten, right? And that is how the slow fade begins, at least for me. The times when I find myself living for another weekend are the times when I suddenly wake up one day and wonder, “What am I doing? Where am I going? Who am I?” I realize how far I have wandered from my purpose, from my dreams. I realize that I need to be revived because I somehow allowed myself to be inoculated against the travesties of this world. It is like waking up from a nightmare…except that it is real, and I really did lose a lot of time. So, my whole point is that it is time to live, really live. I hope you will choose to live with me.

“I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, until it overflows).” John 10:10b

Love is the Answer

This is a video that I put together in order to show my heart for the world. I recently learned that I have an amazing opportunity to serve God in the nation of Cambodia. I will be volunteering at SHE Rescue Home where I will work with amazing girls and young women who have been saved from human trafficking situations and the streets of Phnom Penh. My hope is that I will inspire others to love the way Christ has loved us.

Why are you still searching?

I was driving the other day and just thinking, thinking about how amazing my God is and how often I take Him for granted. My hope is that I am the only one who has momentary lapses during which I simply forget how simply wonderful God is. However, my sneaking suspicion is that I am not alone but that I am instead joined by many--many who fill pews on Sunday mornings, many who sing along to songs about His goodness while driving in their cars, many who desire to live lives that please Him. Instead of continually meditating on what Christ has done for me, I find myself searching for something more. I always want there to be more. I think this is reflective of the society in which I currently live. There always has to be something more, something better, something bigger. Right? Isn't this why we expect raises at work? Isn't this why something new always has to be an upgrade from what we had previously? I mean, really, would you buy a car that is in worse condition or older or has more miles than your current car? It just doesn't make sense...or does it?

The point is this. I have forced myself to wonder whether or not I apply the same principles of more, better, bigger to my God. Am I looking for Him to do something greater? Am I expecting something more of Him?

Tenth Avenue North has a song titled "By Your Side," and one line in the song poses a challenging question. In it God solicits, "Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough?" Of course God is enough. What kind of question is this anyway?

Nevertheless, I was forced to question myself. Am I living as if God is enough? What is this searching about? For what am I searching? When did this search begin, and why did it not end when I discovered the greatest Love ever?

I have found God, yet I still search to no avail. I will liken this searching to something that happened to me at work the other day. After arriving at work in the morning, I, with my coworker, proceeded to sign out all of the keys we needed for the day. I needed one key specifically to unlock my work space for the day, and I distinctly remembered taking it out of the locked cabinet and even saw it on the table after it was removed. However, a mere 30 seconds later I was unable to locate my key. I looked among the other keys. Nothing. I looked on the floor. Nothing. I looked behind the table. Nothing. I even had my coworker help me reopen the cabinet to look again. Nothing. And then, my coworker simply stated, "Uh, Heather, the key is in your hand..." Yes, it is true. I spent a good couple minutes searching for something that I had in my possession the entire time. In my rush to move on with the day, I had somehow forgotten that I picked the key up.

I find myself doing the same thing with God. I distinctly remember Him. I remember that I invited Him into my life, but somewhere between the invitation and the execution of the day's activities, I simply forget. I forget where He is. I look in all the places I can possibly think but am at a loss until the moment when someone says, "uh, Heather, the Key is in your hand..." Christ is the key. He is the key to everything in my life. He is the key that unlocks my past, present, and future. So, why do I search for something more as if He is not enough? He is so much more than enough!

Yes, I know some may argue that there is always more of God to search out. I suppose one could look at it this way, but I see it from a much different perspective. When you search for something and find it, your search is then complete. You are no longer searching for that person/thing. Instead, you are enjoying it, using it, and benefiting from it. This is the way that I see it with God. Once you have found Him, the search is complete. Now you take the next step during which you are enjoying Him. It is at this stage that you learn more about Him, discover what His heart's desires are, understand how deep His love for you is. It is at this point that searching morphs into communing. This is the stage that I want to be in, even though at times I feel as though I am still searching high and low for the Key that is already in my hand...

"Yes, furthermore, I count everything as loss compared to the possession of the priceless privilege (the overwhelming preciousness, the surpassing worth, and supreme advantage) of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord and of progressively becoming more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him [of perceiving and recognizing and understanding Him more fully and clearly]. For His sake I have lost everything and consider it all to be mere rubbish (refuse, dregs), in order that I may win (gain) Christ (the Anointed One)." ~ Philippians 3:8 (Amplified)

Love wins...

This is the thought that has consumed my mind lately. It is tainting every bit of my thinking. It is altering my view of the world around me. It is forcing me to see people with different eyes, eyes that are not my own. I am really attempting to step outside of myself and see the world from the perspective of Jesus. Now, I am typically able to view a situation from the perspective of an outsider and put myself in someone else's shoes in order to grasp some understanding of why they would respond a particular way, regardless of whether or not I agree with their response. However, I am learning more and more that I don't know what to do with a love like Jesus'. David Crowder Band has a song that says, "And the problem it seems is with you and me, not the Love who came to repair everything. And I don't know what to do with a love like that. And I don't know how to be a love like that." I have mulled over these lyrics while driving, while showering, and while lying in bed at night (the places I do my best thinking), and I have realized that it is true. I don't know what to do with this kind of love. I need it. I want it. But I have a hard time getting a hold on it. I want to be it. I need to be it. But I am not. This love came to repair everything, EVERYTHING. Love came to bandage the wounded. Love came to smile for the toothless. Love came to speak for the silent. Love came to shed light on the darkness. This love is something I have been trying to understand and be, but it seems as though every time I make a stride, the road before me once again extends beyond what my eyes can ascertain. I suppose that is the point, though, really. God is so much greater than we, as simple men and women, will ever comprehend, and for that I am extremely grateful. I would not want a god that I could understand because that means his greatness is limited to this earth, to the simplicity of things my mind can grasp. I suppose I am glad that the road of love has so many twists and turns and questions without black-and-white answers. Yes, that's right, I do not think love is always black and white.

Now, don't get your panties in a bunch, but I am about to get controversial...

Allow me to preface by saying that I am an advocate of life--all lives, all people. I am also an advocate of equal value for all, which is to say that in the eyes of God every individual is equal in value, regardless of his/her age, race, nationality, occupation, gender, ability/disability, et cetera. This being said, I have a hard time with some traditionally "Christian" stances on some typically debated topics. One of these troubling topics for me is the legalization of abortion. Do I want babies to be aborted? No. That is not the question for me. My problem is related to the way Christians express their displeasure in abortion. It seems to me that in America we often want our government to make laws that allow us to mitigate our responsibility as Christians. I have a hard time with Christians who continually petition for the rights of the unborn without ever acknowledging the plight of woman who feels as though she has no option but to abort her child. Yes, I think the unborn have a right to live a full life, but I also believe that the born should live a full life as well. Maybe our energies would be better spent reaching out to the people we see on a daily basis who don't know Jesus rather than petitioning our government to feel guilty about murdering unborn children. But hey, what do I know? All that I am really sure of is that love wins...

"This is my commandment that you love one another as I have loved you." John 15:12