Live!

I have been thinking a lot lately about what it means to truly live, to be alive in Christ, to live this life I have been given to the fullest potential. I have been really disheartened to look around me and see how few people are really living and enjoying their lives. And sadly, I can say that I find myself in this category of lackluster living more often than I would like to admit. I find myself getting so caught up in the day-to-day life that unbeknownst to me, my dreams and passions lose their vitality. Over the past couple weeks, I have definitely recognized my recent loss of ferocity with regard to the injustices of the world and the ultimate power and love of God to bring justice and righteousness to a broken world. God is the element that brings life and sets the world right. I don’t understand how He does it, but I know that it is true. I know that He can change the hardest of hearts and bring life to the grimmest of situations. There is a passage in Ezekiel that keeps drawing me in. Ezekiel 16:4-14 says, “As for your nativity, on the day you were born your navel cord was not cut, nor were you washed in water to cleanse you; you were not rubbed with salt nor wrapped in swaddling cloths. No eye pitied you, to do any of these things for you, to have compassion on you; but you were thrown out into the open field, when you yourself were loathed on the day you were born, And when I passed by you and saw you struggling in your own blood, I said to you in your blood, ‘Live!’ Yes, I said to you in your blood, ‘Live!’ I made you thrive like a plant in the field; and you grew, matured, and became very beautiful. Your breasts were formed, your hair grew, but you were naked and bare. When I passed by you again and looked upon you, indeed your time was the time of love; so I spread My wing over you and covered your nakedness. Yes, I swore an oath to you and entered into a covenant with you, and you became Mine, says the Lord God. Then I washed you in water; yes, I thoroughly washed off your blood, and I anointed you with oil. I clothed you in embroidered cloth and gave you sandals of badger skin; I clothed you with fine linen and covered you with silk. I adorned you with ornaments, put bracelets on your wrists, and a chain on your neck. And I put a jewel in your nose, earrings in your ears, and a beautiful crown on your head. Thus you were adorned with gold and silver, and your clothing was of fine linen, silk and embroidered cloth. You ate pastry of fine flour, honey, and oil. You were exceedingly beautiful, and succeeded to royalty. Your fame went out among the nations because of your beauty, for it was perfect through My splendor which I had bestowed on you, says the Lord God.”

This passage is talking about God’s great love for Jerusalem, but I think it definitely parallels the love He has for each of His children. Isn’t this how God finds each of us? Struggling to simply survive and keep our heads above water. We are screaming, whether audibly or deep in the depths of our inner self, hoping for someone to notice and offer us a helping hand, a way out of the pain of this world. I love that God wills the infant to Live! in this passage. He sees us in our mess, and before He does anything else, out of desperation He seems to say, “Hold on! Don’t let go! I’m here now. I’m here to help. Daddy’s here. Live! Just hold on!” In reading this passage, I always have the image of a man hearing the distant cries of an abandoned infant, and I see him frantically running toward the cries, eyes darting in all directions. I see him discovering this helpless, trembling child who is slowly dying with the vultures circling overhead merely waiting. I see him enveloping the child in his arms in hopes that he can transfer some of his life, his vitality to this weak child. Then, I see him adopting this child as his own, offering up all that he has in order for this child to have a life of abundance. Isn’t this exactly what God has done for each of us? He finds us in our worst state, struggling to survive on our own. Then, He takes us in His arms, saving us from the imminent death that is just seconds from digging its claws into us. Yet, even after this amazing display of saving grace, our response is often less than eternal gratitude. We start out with great intentions, with a wonderful desire to live wholeheartedly for God and bringing glory to His kingdom. We want to tell the whole world about Jesus, to see the whole world saved. But then mundane life takes over. We find ourselves living day-to-day, waiting for five o’clock on Friday afternoon to roll around. At first, we hear the cries of the helpless and hopeless with great clarity and want to run and rescue them the way God came and rescued us. However, over the course of time, those cries often get masked by the wind rushing past us, the rain pouring down on us, the grumbling of our own desires, and the well-kept gardens on the other side of the fence—away from the cries that suddenly make us uncomfortable. While we still remember the major points of how God came to save us, we sometimes omit the details of our prior filthiness—some things are just better left in the past and forgotten, right? And that is how the slow fade begins, at least for me. The times when I find myself living for another weekend are the times when I suddenly wake up one day and wonder, “What am I doing? Where am I going? Who am I?” I realize how far I have wandered from my purpose, from my dreams. I realize that I need to be revived because I somehow allowed myself to be inoculated against the travesties of this world. It is like waking up from a nightmare…except that it is real, and I really did lose a lot of time. So, my whole point is that it is time to live, really live. I hope you will choose to live with me.

“I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, until it overflows).” John 10:10b

Love is the Answer

This is a video that I put together in order to show my heart for the world. I recently learned that I have an amazing opportunity to serve God in the nation of Cambodia. I will be volunteering at SHE Rescue Home where I will work with amazing girls and young women who have been saved from human trafficking situations and the streets of Phnom Penh. My hope is that I will inspire others to love the way Christ has loved us.

Why are you still searching?

I was driving the other day and just thinking, thinking about how amazing my God is and how often I take Him for granted. My hope is that I am the only one who has momentary lapses during which I simply forget how simply wonderful God is. However, my sneaking suspicion is that I am not alone but that I am instead joined by many--many who fill pews on Sunday mornings, many who sing along to songs about His goodness while driving in their cars, many who desire to live lives that please Him. Instead of continually meditating on what Christ has done for me, I find myself searching for something more. I always want there to be more. I think this is reflective of the society in which I currently live. There always has to be something more, something better, something bigger. Right? Isn't this why we expect raises at work? Isn't this why something new always has to be an upgrade from what we had previously? I mean, really, would you buy a car that is in worse condition or older or has more miles than your current car? It just doesn't make sense...or does it?

The point is this. I have forced myself to wonder whether or not I apply the same principles of more, better, bigger to my God. Am I looking for Him to do something greater? Am I expecting something more of Him?

Tenth Avenue North has a song titled "By Your Side," and one line in the song poses a challenging question. In it God solicits, "Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough?" Of course God is enough. What kind of question is this anyway?

Nevertheless, I was forced to question myself. Am I living as if God is enough? What is this searching about? For what am I searching? When did this search begin, and why did it not end when I discovered the greatest Love ever?

I have found God, yet I still search to no avail. I will liken this searching to something that happened to me at work the other day. After arriving at work in the morning, I, with my coworker, proceeded to sign out all of the keys we needed for the day. I needed one key specifically to unlock my work space for the day, and I distinctly remembered taking it out of the locked cabinet and even saw it on the table after it was removed. However, a mere 30 seconds later I was unable to locate my key. I looked among the other keys. Nothing. I looked on the floor. Nothing. I looked behind the table. Nothing. I even had my coworker help me reopen the cabinet to look again. Nothing. And then, my coworker simply stated, "Uh, Heather, the key is in your hand..." Yes, it is true. I spent a good couple minutes searching for something that I had in my possession the entire time. In my rush to move on with the day, I had somehow forgotten that I picked the key up.

I find myself doing the same thing with God. I distinctly remember Him. I remember that I invited Him into my life, but somewhere between the invitation and the execution of the day's activities, I simply forget. I forget where He is. I look in all the places I can possibly think but am at a loss until the moment when someone says, "uh, Heather, the Key is in your hand..." Christ is the key. He is the key to everything in my life. He is the key that unlocks my past, present, and future. So, why do I search for something more as if He is not enough? He is so much more than enough!

Yes, I know some may argue that there is always more of God to search out. I suppose one could look at it this way, but I see it from a much different perspective. When you search for something and find it, your search is then complete. You are no longer searching for that person/thing. Instead, you are enjoying it, using it, and benefiting from it. This is the way that I see it with God. Once you have found Him, the search is complete. Now you take the next step during which you are enjoying Him. It is at this stage that you learn more about Him, discover what His heart's desires are, understand how deep His love for you is. It is at this point that searching morphs into communing. This is the stage that I want to be in, even though at times I feel as though I am still searching high and low for the Key that is already in my hand...

"Yes, furthermore, I count everything as loss compared to the possession of the priceless privilege (the overwhelming preciousness, the surpassing worth, and supreme advantage) of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord and of progressively becoming more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him [of perceiving and recognizing and understanding Him more fully and clearly]. For His sake I have lost everything and consider it all to be mere rubbish (refuse, dregs), in order that I may win (gain) Christ (the Anointed One)." ~ Philippians 3:8 (Amplified)

Love wins...

This is the thought that has consumed my mind lately. It is tainting every bit of my thinking. It is altering my view of the world around me. It is forcing me to see people with different eyes, eyes that are not my own. I am really attempting to step outside of myself and see the world from the perspective of Jesus. Now, I am typically able to view a situation from the perspective of an outsider and put myself in someone else's shoes in order to grasp some understanding of why they would respond a particular way, regardless of whether or not I agree with their response. However, I am learning more and more that I don't know what to do with a love like Jesus'. David Crowder Band has a song that says, "And the problem it seems is with you and me, not the Love who came to repair everything. And I don't know what to do with a love like that. And I don't know how to be a love like that." I have mulled over these lyrics while driving, while showering, and while lying in bed at night (the places I do my best thinking), and I have realized that it is true. I don't know what to do with this kind of love. I need it. I want it. But I have a hard time getting a hold on it. I want to be it. I need to be it. But I am not. This love came to repair everything, EVERYTHING. Love came to bandage the wounded. Love came to smile for the toothless. Love came to speak for the silent. Love came to shed light on the darkness. This love is something I have been trying to understand and be, but it seems as though every time I make a stride, the road before me once again extends beyond what my eyes can ascertain. I suppose that is the point, though, really. God is so much greater than we, as simple men and women, will ever comprehend, and for that I am extremely grateful. I would not want a god that I could understand because that means his greatness is limited to this earth, to the simplicity of things my mind can grasp. I suppose I am glad that the road of love has so many twists and turns and questions without black-and-white answers. Yes, that's right, I do not think love is always black and white.

Now, don't get your panties in a bunch, but I am about to get controversial...

Allow me to preface by saying that I am an advocate of life--all lives, all people. I am also an advocate of equal value for all, which is to say that in the eyes of God every individual is equal in value, regardless of his/her age, race, nationality, occupation, gender, ability/disability, et cetera. This being said, I have a hard time with some traditionally "Christian" stances on some typically debated topics. One of these troubling topics for me is the legalization of abortion. Do I want babies to be aborted? No. That is not the question for me. My problem is related to the way Christians express their displeasure in abortion. It seems to me that in America we often want our government to make laws that allow us to mitigate our responsibility as Christians. I have a hard time with Christians who continually petition for the rights of the unborn without ever acknowledging the plight of woman who feels as though she has no option but to abort her child. Yes, I think the unborn have a right to live a full life, but I also believe that the born should live a full life as well. Maybe our energies would be better spent reaching out to the people we see on a daily basis who don't know Jesus rather than petitioning our government to feel guilty about murdering unborn children. But hey, what do I know? All that I am really sure of is that love wins...

"This is my commandment that you love one another as I have loved you." John 15:12

Passionate Worship

I have been thinking recently about what it means to radically and passionately worship God, both on a Sunday morning during a church service and on a daily basis in ordinary happenings. There is no question in my mind that God is worthy of all of our praise. Regardless of what situation we find ourselves in, God is still on His throne. He is still the Creator of the universe. He is still in control. Jesus is still the Savior of the world. He still paid the ultimate price for my sins, which I will never be able to repay, even if I lived a thousand lifetimes. So, the question of worthiness has never been a question in my mind. The question comes more from my intention and effort in worshipping God, mainly my effort. My intentions are usually good. My intention with my life is to worship God with my life--while working, doing the dishes, pumping gas, driving, eating at a restaurant. However, the effort that I actually put into worship does not always reflect my good intentions. Let's start with something easy like a church service on Sunday. I have heard a man that I know talk about how God convicted him about his worship. God showed him that he would stand up and yell and shout and cheer at a football or basketball game, but it was an effort for him to just stand up and sing the words to a song of adoration to the God who created him on a Sunday morning. When put that way, it really forces me to consider what is more important in my life and are my actions accurate representations of those priorities. Now, I don't have too much of a problem standing up and singing and dancing and whatever on a Sunday morning during praise and worship, but I do have to remind myself to not simply sing empty words to the Lord. If the song says "I surrender all," then I better make sure that I am willing to surrender everything to God. If I am saying to God that I will praise Him in the storm, I better make sure that I remember that when everything looks like it is about to fall to pieces at my feet.

So, what does passionate, radical worship look like in my mundane, day-to-day living? Well, I am not sure, but I think it has a lot to do with my attitude and the actions that result from it. I really make an effort to honor God with everything that I do. I try to always respond with love, to be slow to anger, to be patient in trying situations, to always be joyful, to be hopeful, to be a woman of my word, and to accurately represent Jesus to others, as far as it depends on me. I think this is what real worship is. It involves a series of conscious decisions accompanied by a series of consistent actions. The actions that are to follow Christ-followers are clearly expressed in Romans 12:9-21, which says, "Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. Be kindly affectionate toward one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer; distributing to the needs of the saints, given to hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things, but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in your own opinion. Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, 'Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,' says the Lord. Therefore, 'If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.' Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." I want to love as Jesus loved, and in order to do that, I need to know Him. Worship is about knowing Him and glorifying Him. When we truly worship, we will encounter Him in ways we can only imagine, and in turn, He will provide us with the continued ability to worship Him more fully. He will increase our patience, our desire and ability to love, our vision. He will increase His grace toward us, not so we can have a scapegoat for our sin but in order for us to live as the individuals God created us to be. That is why we need Him, why we need His grace. We need it to honor and glorify and worship Him as He is for creating us as He desires us to be. So, I know that I have some work to do in order to be the person God created me to be. There is so much that I don't know, and it sure seems that the more I learn, the more I realize how much I really don't know or understand. So, may the desire of my heart be Psalm 63:1, "O God, You are my God; early will I seek You; my soul thirsts for You; my flesh longs for You in a dry and thirsty land where there is no water."

Prosperity

Matthew 6:19-21 says, "Do not lay up for yourselves treasure on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Based on the some messages I have heard recently, the current economic state of the union, and the way my anomalous mind works, I have been contemplating prosperity and what it really means. I have personally never been a person who desired massive amounts of wealth. I have never wanted a mansion, a brand new BMW, the latest (and most expensive) technologies, or anything of this nature. It is not that I believe these things are in and of themselves bad things. I am not sure I can pinpoint the exact reason I do not desire these items. It could be because my parents worked very hard to instill in my siblings and I to be patient and diligently save for anything of value that we really wanted. When you have to save for something, it really does make you question whether or not it is worth all of the time and effort required to gain it. I also like to think that I place a lot more value on relationships than on stuff. I have never minded too much to go without something. I figure if I have made it without something for so long, I can probably continue to go without it. For example, I have thought many a time that I "need" to get myself a black belt. I don't have one. I have a brown belt that I wear most of the time, and I have a couple other belts that are colors. I have no black belt, but whenever I think about actually spending money on a black belt, I decide against it. You see, I think I have been without a black belt for about 5 of my 22 years now. If I have lived without something as simple as a black belt for nearly a quarter of my life, do I really "need" it?

Anyway, my point with all of this is that I am not sure I understand prosperity. I have framed it in my own mind, but I think my frame of prosperity is so far off from what society presents that I am not even sure it should be identified with the same term. To me, prosperity is identified not by any form of monetary wealth. It is not defined by the size of a home, the make of a car, the brand of a pair of jeans (or fancy gown), the side of the railroad tracks (or world) one lives on, or any number of other things that others may argue. As far as I can tell, Jesus presents a different perspective entirely. He says to store up treasures in heaven. I am a firm believer that when I get to heaven, it will not matter what brand of clothing I wore on earth or what kind of car I drove. What will matter is the way I lived and how much it brought glory to God. Now, I have heard it argued that God wants us to have nice things because He does not want His children to look like paupers. I can understand this, and I believe that God wants us to have His best. I think the problem comes when our simple minds try to comprehend and explain God's ways and thoughts. Isaiah 55:8-9 says, "'For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,' says the LORD. 'For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.'" I am not claiming to have it figured out. It is entirely possible and plausible that I am completely and utterly wrong in thinking that God's desire for me is to be wealthy and have a closet bursting at the seams with a brand new designer car. I don't believe this is His desire for me. It may be His desire for others, but that is between them and God.

So, you ask, what is my point in all of this? My point is that I am completely content to live on a careful budget, foregoing amenities that others may consider necessities if this means that I can live a life completely dependent upon the Lord and furthering His Kingdom. I want to leave an inheritance to those that come after me, but not an inheritance of stuff or wealth. I want to leave an inheritance of love and relationships and wisdom and passion and faithfulness. These are the things that measure prosperity to me, and I hope that they will mean more to those who come after me than an antique lamp or a large home ever could...

The Currency of Humanity

I have spent quite a chunk of time pondering the way that we value people and how we determine this value. My observations have proven to be quite disturbing and upsetting. About a year ago I read about something known as the lifeboat theory. This theory suggests that five people are stranded in the middle of an ocean sharing a single lifeboat. The problem is that in order for the group as a whole to survive, one of the boat's inhabitants must be tossed overboard. The occupants of the lifeboat are a female doctor, a male lawyer, a stay-at-home mom, a garbage collector, and a crippled child. In order to find a plausible solution to this problem, people will weigh their options, identifying the pros and cons of each individual member. All of this is done to determine the inherent value of each individual. Essentially, this identifies that all men, women, and children are not created equally. And for most of us, we would not have any problem voting out the weakest link in this situation, claiming that we are looking out for the best interests of the whole. This is where my spirit clashes with the culture that created me. After looking at this situation for a while, I was troubled because who I am to determine that one individual is more valuable than another, in the same way that a hundred dollar bill is more valuable than a one dollar bill? Who am I to say that an aeronautical engineer is more valuable than a sanitation engineer (aka trash collector)? What criteria am I using to determine this? A pay scale? An education level? It certainly isn't their personal value to me because I guarantee that my life would be much more affected if there were no garbage collectors than if there were no aeronautical engineers. I mean really, when was the last time I went into space? I can't seem to identify a single criterion used to determine human value, but it certainly seems that we are not using the same criterion as God.

Now this may come as a shock to some of you, but God sees everyone with the same value. That does not mean that everyone is meant to have the same occupation or has the same gifts or abilities. He does not have the same expectations for everyone, but He has the same amount of love for every individual. Psalm 139:17-18 says, "How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; when I awake, I am still with You." My prayer is that I would see every individual with the eyes of Jesus, and by doing this, I will be better able to love others with His love. When I look at the poor, the rich, the old, the young, the angry, the scared, the abused, the abusers, the victim, the perpetrator; I want to see the image of the One who created them and love them with His love. And some day, the currency of humanity will be replaced with the purposes of God. Some day...