"This left Jacob all alone in the camp, and a man came and wrestled with him until the dawn began to break. When the man saw that he would not with the match, he touched Jacob's hip and wrenched it out of its socket.
Then the man said, 'Let me go, for the dawn is breaking!'
But Jacob said, 'I will not let you go unless you bless me.'
'What is your name?' the man asked.
He replied, 'Jacob.'
'Your name will no longer be Jacob,' the man told him. 'From now on you will be called Israel, because you have fought with God and with men and have won.'
'Please tell me your name,' Jacob said.
'Why do you want to know my name?' the man replied. Then he blessed Jacob there.
Jacob named the place Peniel (which means 'face of God'), for he said, 'I have seen God face to face, yet my life has been spared.' The sun was rising as Jacob left Peniel, and he was limping because of the injury to his hip."
~ Genesis 32:24-31
I feel like I have been doing a lot of that recently. Wrestling with a lot of different things. Life has been full. I have had much to do, much to consider, much to learn. There have been difficulties and struggles. There have been joys and a warmed heart.
I have been thinking about Jacob all alone in that camp. I have thought about Jacob wrestling until dawn. I have thought about Jacob's relentlessness. He refused to let go until he received exactly what he was wrestling for--a blessing. He did not succumb to the pain of his dislocated hip. He continued on. He may have even taken a stronger grip in an effort to combat the pain. He was not going to give up.
This is where I am. I am holding on. I am gripping hard and refusing to leave until I get my blessing. I am pressing in and pressing on. I am believing in the goodness that lies ahead. I am determined to be obedient, to fight until the end. I want to see the face of God in this.
And, when the sun rises (and it will), I might walk away with a limp, but I think all of life's important battles leave us with permanent reminders...lest we forget Who is really in control. So, to Peniel I go...